A New Take on Balance

I had an interesting conversation with a client recently that gave an ‘aha moment’, challenging everything I felt I knew about work-life balance. Like many women leaders I work with, Sarah was struggling to “find balance” – that elusive state where career ambitions and family life somehow perfectly align.

But here’s what struck me: every time she got close to achieving that balanced state, something just wasn’t right. It wasn’t just her – I’ve noticed this pattern time and time again in my work with successful women leaders. The more we chase perfect balance, the more elusive it seems and the more frustrated we can become.

Then it hit me: maybe we’re pursuing the wrong goal entirely. Think about it – when something is perfectly balanced, it’s static. Stable. Unchanging. But is that really what we want as leaders? Is that how we grow? 

In nature, growth happens through tension. A seed pushing through soil, a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, muscles developing through resistance. None of these transformative processes happen in a state of balance – they require positive tension.

This insight transformed how I now approach conversations about “balance” with my clients. Instead of trying to achieve that illusive equilibrium between work and life, what if we embraced the productive tension that comes from pursuing meaningful challenges? What if we saw the pull between our various roles not as a problem to solve, but as the very force that helps us grow into stronger leaders?

I’m not suggesting we should embrace chaos or push ourselves into burnout – far from it. Rather, I’m advocating for what I call “dynamic tension” – where we intentionally take on challenges that stretch us without breaking us. It’s about finding that sweet spot where we’re pushed to grow but still have the resources to thrive.

One of my clients put it beautifully after we discussed this concept: “It’s like I’ve been trying to balance on a tightrope, when I should have been learning to dance instead.”

For women leaders feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure to “find balance,” I encourage you to ask yourself: What if the tension you’re feeling isn’t a sign that something’s wrong, but an opportunity for growth? What if instead of trying to eliminate the pull between your various roles, you learned to harness it?

The next time you feel that familiar tension between work demands and personal life, try viewing it through this new lens. Ask yourself: Is this tension destructive, or could it be productive? Is it pushing me to develop new capabilities, better boundaries, or more effective leadership strategies?

Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate tension entirely – it’s to transform it into a force for positive change. After all, the most impactful leaders aren’t those who’ve found perfect balance – they’re the ones who’ve learned to thrive in the dynamic space between stability and growth.