What Price High Achiever?

So many women leaders I work with are high achievers. I was one myself, so I understand what constantly striving for success is like. How it motivates and drives us; how it can equally exhaust us.  It’s a key part of our identity. The badge of honour we wear.

But what does it really mean to be a high achiever? And what price do you pay for it?

As high achievers, we constantly strive for success. Failure is not an option. Occasionally, though, we drop the ball or don’t get things right.  Horror or horrors! We do the unforgivable, and  make a mistake.  Whenever we feel exposed in any way, that’s when the real driver of success shows up:  fear and anxiety.  That feeling that you need to earn your right to feel safe and to belong and you can only do that by vigilantly following the rules of being perfect or successful.  

That’s a tall order. One that brings up not just your High Achiever, but your Imposter and Saboteur. Even your Inner Critic. And that combination can give you one really hard time. All to make sure that you feel safe and belong.  

As a High Achiever, how do you earn the right to feel safe?

Are you constantly working, doing, exercising, achieving, balancing a dozen things at once?  All so that you don’t have time to feel that nagging self-doubt that is constantly in the back of your mind. Driving you onward, pushing you to do better, faster, making sure everything is right. Your Imposter, always there, reminding you of your failures. Making sure you’re not one mistake away from being judged a failure or a fraud.

It’s crazy how our minds work; how those feelings of unworthiness never go away, no matter how much we believe in ourselves at a conscious level. And how much we do to prove our worthiness.   And how we frequently sabotage ourselves.

Women leaders I work with often want to climb the corporate ladder, not for its sake: for the impact and influence they can make in that more senior role. I did myself.  And yet, as we reach the top and step into those high profile roles, we can be both overwhelmed with self-doubt.  Maybe even paralysed and unable step up with confidence, own her value. And make that greater impact. 

Let’s face it, all of this is exhausting.  Working hard. Hiding all that anxiety; keeping our imposter syndrome in check. Always on the alert to keep from making a mistake, and never really feeling at ease.

What’s really needed is to clear the blocks; unlearn some of these early fear-based patterns of behaviour that no longer serve us, and relearn more empowering ways to achieve our desires and outcomes.  Let go of the need to prove yourself; instead, let that genius of yours out to play and bring joy and fullness to your work and life.