We’ve journeyed through the fun times and the hard times. Through the intensity of early careers, the sleepless years of parenthood, the quiet shift of the empty nest, and now the delight (and energy!) of grandchildren to care for and play with. Each season different. Each one asking something new of us.
It made me reflect: what keeps a relationship fresh over decades?
For us, it has been laughter. And acceptance. Acceptance of who we are — and who we are becoming. That precious gift of allowing one another the time and space to be ourselves, without judgement or pressure to be other than we are. Loving support not as control, but as encouragement. Not as critique, but as belief.
That doesn’t mean it has always been easy. There have been times when we’ve taken one another for granted. Times when the pressures at work have distracted or exhausted me, and I’ve brought that stress home. Not fair, I know. But human. And how often do we do this with the very people we love most?
Relationships are the foundation of everything
Relationships are not sustained by grand gestures. They are sustained by small, daily choices. To listen. To soften. To assume good intent. To repair when we’ve been sharp or distant.
When we feel seen and accepted, we expand. When we feel judged or managed, we contract.
And this truth doesn’t stop at home.
The quality of our relationships shapes the quality of our lives. And for senior leaders, it shapes the quality of their leadership.
The link to leadership
How often do we take our work relationships for granted? With our peers, our teams, our higher-ups? When tensions rise — and they do more often in these uncertain, fast-moving times — how do we treat ourselves and others?
Under pressure, it is easy to become transactional. To focus on outcomes, deadlines, performance metrics. To forget that behind every title is a human being navigating their own pressures and insecurities.
But leadership is relational.
If you are exhausted and disconnected from yourself, you will unconsciously bring that into every interaction. Impatience. Irritation. Withdrawal. Over-control. And then we wonder why our teams seem hesitant, defensive, or disengaged.
It all begins with the relationship you have with yourself.
If that inner relationship is harsh and demanding, you will extend that harshness outward. If it is grounded, accepting, and clear, you create space for others to think, contribute and grow.
The most powerful leaders I work with are not perfect. But they are self-aware. They notice when they are off balance. They take responsibility for their impact. They repair relationships quickly. They build trust deliberately.
They understand that sustainable performance rests on strong relationships.
Start with yourself
So today, I invite you to pause and consider three simple questions.
How are you relating to yourself right now? With kindness, or with criticism?
Where might you be taking someone at work for granted?
And what small gesture — a conversation, an acknowledgement, an apology, a moment of appreciation — could refresh a relationship that matters?
Just as in a long marriage, it is the small, consistent acts of respect and acceptance that keep things alive.
When your relationship with yourself is loving and accepting, you create the conditions for others to flourish. And from there, thought leadership grows naturally. Influence expands. Impact deepens.
Leadership, at its heart, is not about authority.
It is about relationships.
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