Boundaries

This bank holiday Monday I was out at the allotment, doing some serious weeding and trimming. As I worked my way around a new bed I’d laid earlier this year, I noticed how quickly the grasses and creeping buttercup had invaded from all sides. It was time to reclaim the boundaries of the plot. The longer you leave an area like that, the more difficult it becomes to even know where the boundary actually lies.

It struck me how true that is of the boundaries we set — or fail to set — with people around us. With colleagues, loved ones, friends. A client of mine was complaining only last week about constant interruptions. She’d be mid-flow on a piece of work, and someone would drop by with “just a quick question.” It was wasting her time, draining her energy, and leaving her feeling that everything else — and everyone else — was more important than she was.

A classic case of not having clear boundaries. And just like my allotment, once the weeds creep in, it’s not always easy to reclaim the space. You have to do the work.

Here’s what I know: overgrowth is the natural order of things. Creeping buttercup will always take advantage of bare soil. In the same way, people will always fill any space you leave open. If you don’t define the edges, others will — often without you even realising it.

For women leaders, this becomes especially important when they step into a thought leadership role. Establishing your own voice, your own ground, can sometimes invite others to try and take over. Like that creeping buttercup, they push into the space because the boundaries weren’t clearly set to begin with. Reclaiming them later takes courage and clarity.

My advice is simple: keep it clear, and keep it short. If you need to set a boundary with a colleague, make time for the conversation. Stay centred in your own authentic energy, and use as few words as possible. Let them know — calmly, directly — what isn’t acceptable. Then define what is. It’s not about long explanations or justifications. It’s about standing firm in your own plot of ground, and protecting it so you can grow what really matters.

And if you’re ready to take your leadership to the next level, join us for The Thought Leader’s Advantage. Reclaim not just your boundaries, but your passion, purpose, and power.